Awesome Cheese in Rockula

If you get a chance, go to Netflix and watch Rockula. It's an awesome 80's movie. I remember watching this as a wee lad. I found it on Neflix and recently watched it again..and again (I'm not going to lie). It's as awesome as I remembered. It has all the 80's cheese like music videos IN the movie, dancing, chokers, teased hair, and trench coats over loud clothes. Awesome. You'd be a fool to miss this gem!

Preparing for Hibernation

I think my cats are preparing for hibernation. Since we moved I've noticed they both have been eating, eating, and eating some more. I pour two cups of food in the morning and by night it's all gone. They're taken to begging for canned food. I just feed them more. I'm not alarmed because one (Cookie) I've notice has gotten thinner since he turned 15 and the other (Piddles-Gayle) is a little chunk with a generous rump. This happened when we moved into our new house. Hmmm...

Possible theories:

1. Going up and down the stairs wears them out and they eat more..
2. They're eating for two, but they're both males..
3. They dreamed in their lil cat dreams that we were out of food...once
4. They think we're not coming back when we leave in the morning..
5. They're preparing for battle..
6. They're going into hibernation soon

Interesting Klepto

I have some interesting kids in my class. One student is always stealing pencils. I asked him to knock it off because at any given moment, someone is missing a pencil. He doesn't take any pencil (well actually he does), but he inspects it first. Very, very, VERY carefully.

Once I watched him take a pencil and study it over and over while he was to be reading. He hid it in his pocket, pulled it out and studied it from tip to eraser -even holding it in his palm like he was weighing it. I called his name and said, "Is that your pencil?" He says, "I don't think so, but I'll hold on to it in case." He reluctantly handed it over after a stern look.

The following day I heard that same line, like clockwork. "MRS. CAAAAAADMMANN, SOMEONE STOLE MY PENCIL! IT WAS RIGHT HERE!"

I look over the said thief and immediately see a "new" pencil in his shirt pocket. His excuse?

"It was on the table, I didn't think it was anyone's. Actually you should thank me, someone could have stolen it!"

I have spoken to him about this and his response was "What? ME? Take pencils?" (with a "new" pencil in his shirt pocket) I wonder everytime he has pencils in his pocket now. I've seen him with everything from mechanical pencils to itty bitty golf pencils, he doesn't discriminate.

Looking back, I figure it's better pencils than anything I could think of....until all my black pens went missing yesterday....

Nervous Tic or OCD

I was talking to a student and he says, "Mrs. Cadman, why do you pull out your hair when you're talking to me?" "What, say it again?" He repeated. I didn't relize this, but he's right. I'm not sure if it's a nervous tic or a new habit I picked up, but Inoticed I do this around certain people and in certain situations.

Examples: I caught my self pulling out long hairs slowly, one-by-one, when talking about the testing that was coming up. I caught myself again when I was talking to a parent over the phone.

I sort through the strand for a the thickest of the bunch. I think it might be due to the white hairs I have been finding as of late. They're usually the thickest.

I CAN'T STOP AND PEOPLE ARE NOTICING!!!

Baby Names

Not that I'm thinking of having children right now, but I think the names Legume, Killian, and Rogue are awesome. Hubby says no (a bean, beer, and too X-men-ish). I explained that I either name our children whatever the heck I want or I charge him womb rent.

My Awesome: Spice Girl Shoes and Clothes Circa 2000

We're currently attempting to move from our apartment to our new house. I hate moving. I thought I really hated doing laundry, but I'd rather do laundry all day than clean and pack. I hate it with a passion!

My husband and I are hoarders (*see hoarder entry). We don't see junk and go "Hmm, what do I need with that?" Nay, we say, "Ooo, that's awesome, let's get it." (This lead to an attempted sword fight in the dining room this weekend)

I'm depressed. I was going through my closet; seriously haven't been in there since 04'. I pulled out old things like teddy bears from god knows who, old love letters, old pictures (of me when I used to be young without a care in the world). I was going through this "junk" when I found all my clothes from about 2000-2004. Not to brag, but I have some really cute stuff. Not that I'm ever going to fit into anything circa 05' down.

I pulled out a pair of shorts that were a size 8. Cripes, I don't even remember being a size 8. I'm so lame I tried it on and it only went up my mid-thigh, refusing to go further. I remember I used to wear those shorts when I attended U of A (long story for a rainy day). I also found a shirt I thought was sooo cute. (It turned out to be a crocheted top--so in essence I flashed everyone because all I wore underneath was a bra). I can just picture someone saying, "Hey, you're that girl that used to wear see through shirts with only a bra!" Funny...then I had no clue it was see through then.

:(

Let's see, I also found a pair of Spice Girl-esque shoes that were basically 5 inch platforms. (I have no clue how I managed to stroll to class with these without breaking my cankles) I found them before my husband could and promptly deposed of them-quickly and quietly, our secret. (I should have kept them to show my future spawn or sold them- they might be worth money now seeing they're rare gems in some circles).

I'm depressed I had to throw some items away, even though I didn't want to. The hoarder in me said, "Some day you'll fit into that. THEN where will this be when you need it?"

The voice in my head kept saying, "You can't fit 5 pounds of sugar in a 2 pound bag."

Bummer..

I asked students what particular interests they had about Veterans Day. A lot wanted to learn about Code Talkers and Marine Corps. I put together an informative lesson via the Smart board. It didn't go as well as I hoped. A lot of the comments saddened me. Here are a few:

"Hey, that's like the movie Windtalkers.."

"That's like the game Modern Warfare/Call of Duty..."

No, I say, this is real life and true stories.

I explained to them that during moment of silence, I think of the real soldiers that continue to fight for my freedom and those that did fight.

13 Things Your Child's teacher Won't tell You

Beware, a slideshow here

Seriously..

THINK before you speak!

This literally made me tear up, but it also made me happy that someone put their foot down and refused to be bullied! Remember, as a teacher I know first hand, whatever you say, whether it be positive or negative....your kids WILL repeat it at school.

Story

Dawn Being Inappropriate (Again)

After a long day today we decided to get a bite to eat. While waiting for the food I was telling my husband a story about one of my students. During 7th period, I tell my students that we're going to write scary stories for Halloween and one says, "Wait, didn't we do this last year?"

I say, "Yep. This time it's going to be better because now we have more tools in our mental toolbox to write."

He says, "Can't I just refine my story from last year?"

I say, "No, wait...the title escapes me, what was the title again?"

*Stares blankly*

He says, "It was called The Haunted Kumquat."


I have no idea, but I could not for the life of me stop laughing. Not just a chuckle, but a full breakdown where I actually had tears. My husband was getting uneasy, but I couldn't stop.

Then our food came, five minutes later. I had to face the wall because I couldn't stop laughing. He husband didn't get it. He says while shaking his head, "I guess I had to be there."

Years later, I stopped...and looking back now, it's still funny!

Intros and Blair Witchery...

We decided to introduce the cats to their new home this week. Let me back track a bit...we have two cats that are total opposite from one another. One is fifteen, vocal (in a good way, not annoying, well except when he's hungry to the water has been standing for more than 15 minutes), and enjoys traveling (Petco, 6 hour drives, and shenanigans). The other, Piddles-Gayle, is a total weirdo. He hates to travel and has serious co-dependency issues. I've only heard him meow for 1 thing: when he thinks he's alone/lonely (i.e. if everyone is sleeping and you go to the bathroom and god forbid close the door with him on the other side).

Anyway, we take him into the house and he tenses up immediately. He walks to the middle of the living room and begins to meow up a storm. Not meow like "Help, I'm alone"...but bloody murder meow...and non-stop. Before ASPCA comes, I go over and lay beside him to pet him. He doesn't stop. His brother on the other hand is already upstairs in the closet...plotting shenanigans.

I go to check on him and come back to no Piddles anywhere. I look and look and do not find him. After searching I find him IN the bathroom cabinet sitting Blair Witch style- with his head in the corner, not moving and refusing to respond (even no ear movement). My husband says, "Leave him, he may be too scared."

Of course I don't listen and check on him ten minutes later only to find him in the dark bathroom corner wall, sitting with his head in the corner. I take him out and set him in the middle of the kitchen and he darts to the stair and corner wall face first.

It was so weird.

Then again this is Piddles, our little enigma.

House Hunting (pt 5)

We got the keys today and are excited to take the boys ( 2 cats and 2 turtles) to see their new home! We can't wait to move in. Our search is finally over!

Our relator is so sweet. He called us to meet us there by 3pm. When he got there he gave us a gift and balloons. That was so sweet. :)

Poltergeist and a Change of Underwear

Friday I was so excited to possibly get our new house keys that I actually left school on time to stay on call. If we got the go ahead to get keys, I could leave asap and get them and surprise my husband.

I got home around 3:20pm and sat watching my phone till 4:20pm. Beyond that I have no idea what happened. I was asleep when I heard the Doors song "This is the End" playing loud. (Keep in mind we don't have any stereos plugged in) I get up and start searching for where it's coming from. I go to the dining room stereo and it's off. I'm still in a daze because apparently I dozed off and now we have a poltergeist that likes the Doors.

Scared out of my wits I sit on the bed totally freaked out and I see the computer screen on. I try to log on, but it wouldn't let me (since when?). I frantically click the mouse, but the screen remains black. I decide to show our poltergeist who's boss and turn the computer off manually.

I wait...and wait.....

I get a phone call from my husband and he says, "I've been trying to call you for the last thirty minutes! We can go get the keys! The house is officially ours! Come get me." *pause*
"Oh, and by the way, that was me that turned on music remotely to get your attention. I thought you dozed off and you weren't answering your phone."

I say, "Nice, you **&*^&, you scared the ^%^%$# out of me! You owe me a new pair of underwear!"

Hoarders (pt 2)

During our little cleaning I found more cat clothing and costumes. It must have been awhile as my youngest Piddles-Gayle can't even fit into the turtle costume I bought two years ago. That's okay, he's still growing.

House Hunting (pt 4)

We ran into a little issue. We thought we were good to go, but apparently that wasn't so. Yet again another monkey wrench was throw in. The issue is the TWO HOAs we have with the new house. I've never heard of this...

A "master" and "sub" HOA. So basically there will be two payments to two different HOAs. Silly if you ask me. This little doozy is just another issue we encountered. We're getting more and more anxious and can't wait till everything goes through.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed and hope things run fine here on out.

Fingers crossed!

Hoarders (pt 1)

After cleaning up a bit I came to two conclusions. One, I have way too much accessories for one person and two, we are hoarders. We need to contact that show. It's actually sad because we were watching Hoarders once and I didn't think the stuff the older woman had was "junk". If you fall into one of these, you might be a fellow hoarder:

-keep clothes you know you'll never fit into (but still have a glimmer of hope...)

-have clothes, shoes, and other items in shopping bags with the tags still on (I was wondering where that went...)

-your cats have more clothes than your husband (can never have too much cat clothes..)

-have trinkets and chotchkies (aka worthless crap, actually, I found a round piece of metal with a flat bottom and round top and asked my husband, "What the heck is this?" He says, "You don't remember?" *frown* I say, "No, what is it?" He says, "It's the top of a huge nail, we picked it up when we were walking once; when we were dating." *puts it in his pocket and walks away*)

-have baby clothes (but no kids..)

-have dried roses (who knows from where, who, and when..)

-have a collection of: tin whistles, bottled sea water from various places, shells, turtle scutes, and cat fur

House Hunting (pt 3)

I think I have an ulcer. We have been going back and forth with negotiations. I feel like a ping pong ball. We've set our sights on a specific house, but the seller is playing hardball. We are in final negotiations, emotionally exhausted, and crabby.

I've been so caught up in this that I have been neglecting my kittens, husband, and myself. I actually have been so exhausted that I drop when I come home and I haven't changed my contacts in three months (gross, I know).

I know it's going to be worth it though. I keep telling Cookie he'll get his cat tower soon.

My husband is already calling dibs on a computer/junk room (great). On the bright side, I can't wait to move and actually call a house my home. My husband has been so understanding, I'm glad he has been the more level headed one.

House Hunting (Pt 2)

We finally found our house. People have been saying, "When you find your house, you'll know." We did. The moment I walked in I knew, but the big fat caveat is the seller. Apparently they are making this transaction as difficult as possible. Even our realtor says .99 percent of transactions are not like this.

Sheesh.

Anyway, it has been an emotional roller coaster. I figure that as long as the cats and turtles get their own rooms, we'll be just fine. We told the cats about the move and all I got was this response:

House Hunting (pt 1)

We finally decided go house hunting. First, don't believe what you see on House Hunters on HGTv. They make it look so nice and easy, three houses prewrapped in a nice pretty bow for your choosing. (Not to mention the civil discussions the couples make)

We have been back and forth on one house in particular. The realtor says it's priced about 20K over. He showed us a comp with a pool for the same price. My issue is that we should look into this if we're both okay with it. Hubby says, "Nyet! Patience Grasshopper. Something else will come along." What if it doesn't? Sure we could wait and hopefully something will pop up, but what if it doesn't? What if the house gets sold? What if I get heartbroken?

New Dinosaur Species

Looks cool, my new fave: take a look

Wot? 0_o

Today during class a student gestured for me to come his way. I figured it was a hush-hush moment because this student is usually loud and blurts out whatever he's thinking. I come over and he says politely:

"Mrs. Cadman?"

I say, "Yes?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, okay?"

I say, "Uh oh, what?"

He says, "I, I don't really like your gold shadow. I don't know. Gold doesn't really go with you. I'm not trying to be mean either. The blue you had on yesterday is more your color...

*thinks for a moment*

...I guess it brings out your brown eyes. That's all."

*continues writing*

I stood there half in shock. First he was polite enough to call my gold eyeshadow to my attention in an appropriate manner...and he was vexed that much by it.
I didn't know whether to be puzzled or grateful..or both.

I say, "Uh, okay. Noted."

FYI~

*Disclaimer-If you don't care about eyeshadow issues, stop reading....

I had issues with my eyeshadow primer. It seemed to stop working out of the blue. I was irritated because it's a new primer and I heard rave reviews. I figured it was due to my new classroom being extremely humid, but it happened again during the weekend. Turns out it was due to me using my fingers to apply the actual shadow and not using a brush. I have them, but they're such a pain to use and it takes forever and two days.

I switched and guess what?

Problem solved.

Like I said, FYI

Delicious Pasta

My husband created this delish dish that was almost too pretty to eat!

Tempe Town "Lake"

Tempe bridge

The dam that burst..

A casualty..

Dam after..

Dams..

Flotation device of some sort..

Dry lake bed..

Flotation device sunken..

It used to be filled to the brim..

Debris that will be cleaned soon..

Lonely bridge.

Blessed Cookie

Cookie blessing our Costco water...

...with his holy paws

Spent the day guarding the toilet

Observing being observed (or plotting to drive)

Doing his impression of a ferocious tiger

Doing his impression of a stuffed turkey

"NO paparazzi!" he says.

Many Faces of Piddles-Gayle

Many faces of Pid

It's hard being beautiful



"Kiss my paw" he says

Oh Hai!

Piddles is into maritime

Riddle Me This...

Something has been vexing me since yesterday afternoon. I was in a rush and stopped by a Circle K to grab my hubby and myself a couple of drinks. There was one other person ahead of me, a towering snooty man.

I say snooty because every other words out of his mouth was "Why, thank you" or "You're a huge help, thanks!" No, just kidding it was, "See, your going to to this...AND this..." to the cashier. Not in a I'm-robbing-you-so-do-this kind of way, but rather an I'm-the-customer-so-do-as-I-say kind of way.

So, he gets multiples of everything. He has: juice, milk, candy bars, paper, and other small items in multiples of three. Not so bad you say? Well, he tells the cashier to put the items in separate bags. The cashier, complying better than I would, starts putting a single set of the items in bags (1 milk, 1 juice, 1 candy bar, etc). The guy says, "NO! I said in SEPARATE BAGS!"

By now, I decide to set the drinks on the register counter so the guy would get the hint. The cashier gives a perplexing look and says, "Uh...what?" I'm thinking the exact same thing. Then the cashier says, "One bag for everything, right?" The man says, "Yes, see, you're going to put one item in each bag." He does it.

I'm literally standing there with my jaw wide open thinking this is getting good. I wonder, should I ask him why all the bags? What's with the multiples of three? What's wrong with sorting it all out later? Do you really need separate bags?

I wonder several scenarios:

1. He needs to collect plastic bags.
2. He has a phobia of food/items touching other items.
3. He has to give people items in bags?
4. They're presents?
5. He's bored and causing drama.

I'm going with #2. Hubby agrees with #4.

This has been bothering me a lot, like a person's name you can't for the life of you remember or a face you can't place.

Your thoughts?

Blasphemy!

I, for one, do not condone taking turtles from their natural habitat, but has it ever occured to anyone to actually bring their own turtles? (Yes, the race maybe small, but who cares?)

Ontario turtles beware, you should be lucky Chomper Cadman-Dentz lives in Arizona. For he is the fastest turtle in the Southwestern region and has faux-racers for breakfast!

Story

The Best Piece of Advice! (revisted)

One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me was a simple one. No, it wasn't "treat others as you want to be treated" (found this was a lie and shouldn't be preached anymore) or "Love is...". No.

Let me take you to the scene..I remember.

(I am sitting in the passenger's side with a friend driving and we see an old dirty ball in the road)

Friend: "Every time I see a ball rolling in the road or a ball in the road, I stop or drive like a mile an hour."

Me: "What? If I did that I would be stopping constantly on my street. I agree that you need to slow down and be more cautious, but not stop completely."

Friend: "True story, every time a ball rolls out onto the street, a child WILL chase it."

Me: "Ah, I don't think so. Give kids credit, they KNOW better than to follow a ball in the street. Haven't your parents taught YOU not to go in the road after things? HUH? Smart one?"

Friend: "Yes, but it's like an instant reflex for them."

Me: "I don't think so."

Friend: "Seriously, common sense isn't that common."

Me: "I just don't think, with parents watching and possibly playing with their children, kids would blindly run into the road....but, I'll take it under advisement."




*Yesterday I was driving and about 50 feet ahead of me I see a baseball roll into the road with a child immediately running behind it. No thought, just running. Not looking side to side, just running blindly into the road.

Luckily I already had braked by then. I looked to my right and saw a parent trailing behind and yelling at the boy and shaking a finger in the child's face. I was glad I listened to reason!

Best advice ever!

CALM DOWN!

This weekend we went up north to visit. Since it's a 6 hour drive we like to read to one another during the trip. I recently purchased a story I'd been looking for for awhile now. I first saw the story on Tales from the Darkside "The Cutty Black Sow," and I was intrigued. I searched for the short story and found it in an anthology online. My husband ordered it online and in 2 weeks it came. I couldn't wait to open it. When I opened it I was more than miffed. It was the wrong collection, the first volume, not the second. Being the horror fan I am, I decided to keep it and order the correct one.

Another 2 weeks goes by and it finally comes. I read it and re-read it. During the trip I decide to read it to my husband while he's driving. I got so into the book that while reading my husband says, "OKAY! You need to calm down!" I was so caught up in the story I was literally shouting "...for it was THE CUTTY BLLLAAACCCKKKK SOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!..."

If you want me to read it to you, let me know.
Free of charge.

Names You May Not Use!

I stumbled upon this gem about naming kids. I literally spit out my Lucky Charms while reading New Zealand names rejected.

I'm don't think "Fish and Chips" was that bad. Now, "Number 16 Bus Shelter", that's bad!

Los Liiiinks!

(I have that silly Bing commercial stuck in my head and have been going around waving my arms in the air while shouting "LOS LIIIIINKS!")


Other amusing reads:
Sesame Street
Mascots (my vote is for the melon mascot)

How Cool Is My Husband?

He just informed me that he bought us tickets to EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL

Info in case you want to go: Evil Dead: The Musical

Lovely Pictures of Our Boys

Cookie on his way to work

A snuggle, albeit on top of Piddles

Cookie lurking in the shadows, unbeknownst to "Food"

Thank goodness Piddles doesn't have opposable thumbs!

Cookie informing Piddles of the best cuts to eat first

Hey, Check Your Attitude

After reading this article I had a chance to reflect on my past experience as a customer service representative. I'm sure every position is inclined for customer service, but I was literally working in the customer service department for an electrical company. I can't tell you how much faith I lost in humanity during this time. I never had so many people yell and berate..all in a single day. This is when I learned quickly that the mantra "Do unto others.." was complete deception at best.

I have the utmost respect for people that work in the fast-food business. My first job was working the register at a fast-food joint on Mill Ave. I worked 2 hours and promptly quit. I couldn't deal with temperamental customers. My favorites were the people that would ask for a "water" cup, fill it with soda and slowly sip while standing in front of the soda dispenser, oblivious to those that paid for sodas waiting for their turn. I loved those that would ask questions* like:
"Where does the food go when it's been sitting too long?"
"Why is the bathroom locked?"
"What is your number?"
"When do you get off, what time should I be here?"
"Where did you get that eyeshadow color?"

Kept in mind this is while other customers were standing in line during the morning rush

Reminiscing is making my blood pressure rise. I'll stop here now.

NY article

*These are absolutely true questions I was asked during the morning rush

Funny, In a Knee Slapping Sort of Way

My husband sent me a link to this website and the video had me laughing all day!

Kitty with top hat

Suckling kitty

Real Puss-n-Boots

I'm Putting That On A T-Shirt

I heard my husband yell, "I just lost a fairy for that bull****!" (playing Legend of Zelda)

Friday the 13th Game

Ever remember the old school NES*?

(*If not, then stop reading- you're to young and this won't pertain to you)

Anyway, I played Friday the 13th when I was young and I have yet to beat this game. This is a vexing goal in my life. Believe me, I have searched for this game for about 3 years and I can't find one decent copy. Lo and behold my husband finds it and downloads it to my phone. I can't stop playing. I've taken to charging my phone in the morning and mid-afternoon from excessive playing. I still can't beat it! This bothers me because I devoted my tween years to beating every game I came across. This game is my nemesis.There's no hope for me.

I seriously think I have arthritis in both my thumbs now. :(

I hope to get to this point some day.

PLAY HERE

Now THIS is Hilarious!

101 things to do with a wedding dress

This Is My Motto and I'm Sticking To It!

Don't know where the pic came from....

The Cutest Drawing Ever!

Today during our vocabulary logs I noticed a drawing that looked like 2 hammers. I didn't want to ask the student what the picture depicted as I didn't want to embarrass her in front of her peers, but..I had to.
I quietly asked, "Um, M, what are these?"
She goes, "Oh, these are...wait......why? What do they look like"
I said, "I'm guessing bullets or hammers?"
She looks at the drawing and turns it upside down. With a quizzical look she says, "Really?'
I said, "It's beautiful though, I'm just a bit confused."
She says, "MRS. CADMAN! It's SHOES!"
I couldn't help but laugh because she was laughing hysterically.
She said, "MIZ CADMAN! DON'T LAUGH AT MY SHOES!"
I apologized and said, "I didn't know, but that's just the most precious drawing ever!"

Today she brought my very own picture, signed and labeled.

She said, "Mrs. Cadman, here. When I go to high school you can look at this when you're having a bad day and smile."

I told her I would frame it and I did.

One More Week..

I have anxiety about school ending soon. I don't know why...

One Thing After Another...

It seems my life decided it was bored and to add drama to spice things up a bit.

I wake up to find my cat throwing up EVERYWHERE. I forgot his tum was sensitive to certain canned foods. I realized this when I was standing in chunky cat vomit pulling my hair shouting, "Stop the insanity!".

Most animals vomit in little piles and sweeping around it to "cover" it up...not Cookie. This cat has projectile vomiting and WILL vomit on important papers, cute satin shoes, and your one last decent dress.

I get into the car to discover the a/c is blowing hot air, in Tempe you'd be furious too. ("Feels like 89' weather.com says)

One good thing about today was lunch. I had a professional day off and had myself a little luncheon with my absolute two favorite people: my husband and best friend. I smugly whispered to my husband, "I'm glad I'm married to you. I get to gossip about my day with a non-judgemental BFF."

He had to ruin it and go, "What the heck is a BFF?" to which I replied, "You're fired."

Something I've Noticed..

I think my turtle has an eating disorder. I can't even fathom how to handle this.

Where's My Personal Assistant?

I've had a trying week and my TMJ disorder is beginning to affect my hearing. I have a horrible habit of unintentionally clenching and grinding my teeth. This leads to a sore jaw, thus no hearing. Since this sporadically happens, I go to sleep wondering if I will be able to hear and out of which ear.

This week with the multicultural fair, AIMs, NWEA, etc..etc.. I feel I am about done.

I literally had no time to eat, or drink for that matter, during the day.

Thank goodness summer break is coming up. Wait, I have to work...nevermind.

If you know of a personal assistant that is willing to work for Cadbury Eggs, let me know.

**Info on TMJ: here

NO Foie Gras For YOU!

I heard the atrocities, but this brings it to light. I once had a frisky pet duck during my high school years named Frankie Clovis Cadman. He was the highlight of my days. He had a great life.

Lesson: DON'T EAT DUCK parts! (and lobsters)

Here to watch how Foie Gras is made courtesy of PETA.

April Fool

Since there was no school on Friday, I knew the students would be preparing all kinds of tricks for one another for April Fool's Day. I didn't dare remind them as I would bear the brunt of their shenanigans.

After lunch I heard a knock on the classroom door. A student (*side note- this student is very respectful, shy, and mild mannered) looking quite disheveled entered. I saw his face was red and slightly bruised. He could barely walk and dropped his books as he entered the room. He mumbled incoherently that "someone beat me up just now."

I was so shocked. I grabbed a chair for him and sat him down. "What happened? Where did this happen?" I asked. He just held his jaw. I asked the other students and they said it was "some kid wearing blue." I got so flustered I quickly went outside to see if anyone saw anything. I came back and the ENTIRE class was laughing.

I realized then, they had arranged all of this. He giggled and said, "Got you! April Fool!" I went through a range of emotions in that minute. My poor little heart was pitter-pattering so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Although I was angry, I was delighted to see this student I labeled as "shy" had orchestrated a joke on me, including other students.

Later he went on to tell me how he made bruises (rubbing his finger on pencil markings) and orchestrated the entire fiasco-of course the others were more than happy to participate. I must say I was quite proud he took enough initiative to make me an April Fool. I recovered in time for my next class.

Random Things in My Purse

I was looking for a thumbdrive today and found a plethora of random items in my purse. Let me backtrack a tad...I always had micro purses, but for the past two years I graduated to half a gallon sized purses. This Christmas I received a gorgeous turquoise Pendelton purse from my parents, roughly a gallon. (I don't know what they were thinking considering they've seen the hoarding/sentimental gathering that goes on in our home)

Back to my original tale, I was looking for a thumbdrive and stumbled upon these lovely gems:

• 1 old toothbrush with cat hair all over the bristles
• 2 seashells (1 broken in half and 1 slightly chipped)
• 2 tin whistles (1 F brass and 1 Eb aluminum)
• 1 paper napkin with my clan introduction and other words written in Navajo (thanks mom)
• 1 half melted piece of mint chocolate from Olive Garden (which I fully intend on eating)
• 1 pink and purple friendship bracelet made from real sheep wool
• 1 Jewish Rosary (yes, you read that right)
• 4 bottles of medicine (aspirin, Aleve, Zyrtec, and Midol)
• 3 thumbdrives (various GBs)
• 1 Chrysolina Beetle keychain
• 1 pear tree (not really, just wanted to see if you were paying attention)

What is the most interesting thing YOU have in your purse/wallet?

Our Little Trip to Venice Beach

Gathered water for my collection.

The weather was immaculate...

we go soak our toes...

and of course, I almost lost my flip-flop!

Argh! Bad Hair Week!

This weekend I was in the mood to do something bold. With summer almost here (if you've been to the Phoenix area in the summer, you know what I mean) I decided to get a bob. Not just any bob, but a B O B. I had almost decided on a cut when I realized I should ask my husband's opinion-since he's going to be looking at it more than I will.

"Rethink this," he says. "I don't want you horribly upset for the next couple years or whenever it"ll grow out."

Grand idea, I think.

I go and get three inches taken off and bangs to complete the "look" I think I'm going for.

Cut to Monday morning, the day after Spring Break.

A student says (as he's pointing to my "side bangs" that looks almost like a front ear tail), "Mrs. C, no offense, but did do PAY for that cut? I can help you. All I need is ...scissors...there they are!"

"How dare you!" I exclaim, "..assume you can fix this monstrosity!"

After school I go to get my bangs re-cut.

My bangs now look something like Danny Bonaduce's (circa 1974).

Really?

Given the fact that Spring Break starts this Friday I knew this week would be...what's the word....interesting, to say the least. My kids seem to already be on vacation. Procedures are useless now.

I had a student waltz in and chat while proceeding to NOT follow directions. I took him aside and said, "Mr. ___, you know the rules. You have two choices, follow instructions and do your job or make like a tree."

The students pauses with a quizzical look and whispers softly, "Make like a tree, Make like a tree..." while counting on his fingers.

I accidentally let out a huge laugh and said, "What on earth are you counting for?"

He goes, "Oh, I just now got that joke."

Ever Had One of Those Days?

I'm having one of those days where nothing, I mean NOTHING, goes right. It's like a ripple effect, one thing after another. I told my husband, "Let's go out for Chinese, that will be something good."

No, it wasn't. Awful new restaurant. Awful.

I wasn't even home two minutes and I already got bite marks by my cat. Have you ever heard the saying, "Bad dogs are made, they're not born."?

The saying almost applies to cats, not really. Our saying in the house is: Bad kitties are born, they're not made.

I have two. One was labeled by a vet as "The Cat from Hades," while the other has been known to purposely trip innocent bypassers.


My mind is slowly shutting down: 8 more school days till Spring Break.

Today a student asked me how to spell pseudonym. I got it right on the third try. Now they claim they "stumped the teacher" and I owe them snacks.
I said, "I'll trade you snacks for a homework pass."
To which a student replied, "Wait...what homework?"
"That's right," I said.

Heifer Birds & Bossy Hummingbirds

I'm still a little ticked about last week's fiasco. First, the birds broke ALL of the perching sticks off the hummingbird feeder, about 6 total. I thought, "Oh great, now at least the hummingbird will have the food all to him/herself." But no.....

A little trickery on their part, they managed to glue themselves on the side (don't ask me how) of the hummingbird feeder.

Two days ago I found the bottom of the feeder shattered all over the patio, with no hummingbird food of course.

Since this was getting out of hand I decided not to feed them bird seeds for two days, that'll show them-- bad idea. I had birds flying into the doors trying to get my attention all weekend.

The nerve of the hummingbirds to do this also...and I use to hold them in such high regards. I thought they weren't into petty dove shenanigans, but I guess they're not above bossing me too.

I thought, "No, I'll feed them when I'M good and ready!" I seriously underestimated them, for they have taken to eating inside the bird seed bag instead. Heifers....

Chomper Cadman-Dentz

This morning at 5:30 a.m. I heard yelling in the dining room. "Get up, help! Chomper is not moving and he has his eyes closed!"

My poor husband came running in to shake me awake. I quickly ran to the aquarium and looked for him. He was inside (don't ask me how) the artificial log, trapped. I picked up the log and tried to pry him loose, but I couldn't. I shook the log and feared the worst.

Then, Chomper opened his beady eyes and gave me a tender longing look, as if to say, "What the hell?"

Two minutes later the two of us had him loose. I still have no idea how a 4 inch width turtle finagled his way into a 3 inch area. Suspicious....

Exhibit A: Chomper Cadman-Dentz

Some People get Chocolate For V-Day

For Valentine's day some people get candy, some get flowers, dinner, and some even get a massage. What did I get? Sore scratched legs, a skinned knee, and one eye poked.

We can't decide/blame who came up with the wonderful idea to "hike." We traveled past Canyon Lake, on pass Tortilla Flat to the dusty area where few snow birds tread. The weather was lovely and the near blooming cacti hinted at spring. It was like a dream until I heard those dreadful words, "Hey, let's hike up to the cave!"

Bad idea. Not only because I'm the clumsiest person, but because I have Cynophobia. "Sure," I replied. It couldn't have been more than a stone's throw away, right? Wrong.

The "hike" turn out to be me scaling a bed of rock covered in Cat's Claw. I was pretty proud of myself for making it to the cave, somehow, but then I remembered I had to go back down.

Then I heard he most foul idea ever...."Hey, let's hike down to the water down that cliff."

"No," I replied. A poked eye and a few scratches later, I was done

.

BEAST MOM

Today I student asked me if she could come in for lunch to make her mother a card for Valentine's Day. Soon I had a trio working on cards. She sat working diligently when I said, "May I see your card?" "Of course!" she says. It read:

B E A S T M O M

For a split second I thought, "Wouldn't this be a hilarious memory?" "No," I had to tell myself. I corrected her and we all had a good laugh.

Cat Poisons

Educate yourself, I'm sure the same goes for pups

Traumatized Much?

For down time, which I have very little of, I read. I re-read one of my most favorite books called Lakota Woman. This book is a must read! I went through all the emotions all over again, which I didn't think was possible because I had previously read it.

It's a great autobiography of a "mixed Indian" named Mary Crow dog. She tells of her life on the Sioux reservation, the American Indian Movement, and the hardships that go along with life. A great read, I highly recommend it.

On another note, I'm currently reading Kite Runner. This tragedy started off on a wonderful note, but turned sour. It isn't a horrible book, just traumatizing. I don't want to spoil anything, but have tissues and a shoulder to cry on hand when reading. I'm not even half way through the book and I get misty eyed. I stopped after I noticed I was literally forcing myself to turn the pages. My poor husband has been patiently sitting through my Kite Runner discussions every morning to work. I find I have been arguing with myself during these discussions.

Awesome-est Birthday Ever!

I had the best super duper birthday ever! I wasn't too enthused about turning the ripe old age of 3-0, but my wonderful husband managed to intercept my nervous breakdown.

You see, it's really hard for someone to get a year older, but when the said person has students saying 21 is "old," you're in trouble. I didn't get much sympathy from my kids. They wanted to throw me a "party" (I use this word lightly) and I nixed that plan quickly. Last Christmas I had 10 pounds of junk food and chocolate (not junk) I had to give away, but I think I was used for an excuse to bring candy to school.

Side note: One of the worst holidays as a teacher is Valentine's day.
Candy + twitterpated kids = awful day full o' drama

Anyway, I had a great birthday. My husband orchestrated the entire event. He's not the most organized person, but this was fantastic planning. He and my parents took care of food, games, and my extended family was there. There was even a pinata. This was the best birthday ever. I sat across from my aunt and we laughed and laughed till I thought I would rupture my spleen.

I love my brand new shiny husband.

Another Year, Another Year Wiser

That's what they say. It's true. I feel that this past year was a year of growing with new experiences. I'm not looking forward to growing older though. I was proud of the fact that I could say, "I'm still young and learning." I can now only say, "I'm learning."

Sure the big 3-0 is supposed to be the new 20, but that just sounds silly, like someone patting you on the head saying, "There, there." I don't feel that way. I've heard it all goes down hill from here. Things drop, ache, and stretch, things you never knew could. I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm already yearning for my twenties.

Listen to me, I sound like a 30 year old already.

A student put it best, "Look on the bright side, at least your not super old, like 32!"
"Thanks," I said, "A motivational speaker, you are not. Good try though."

Urgle, Gurgle

I have a case of the grumps today. I believe that I handle stress quite well for someone with a lot going on, but this time is just plain ridiculous. I just figured out, about two weeks ago, that I have been working about 10 hours a day. Literally. I was wondering why I was so tired and eager to lay down with a great book every evening. After sleeping, I've never felt fully rested.

My kids always ask me, "Miss C, why don't you have any children?" To which I reply, "I do have children, all of you." (They think I'm joking, I'M NOT)

I'm beginning to wonder if this is necessary. I feel, as a teacher, I have so much I want to share...but there just isn't enough time in one day.

It's true when people say teachers wear many hats. I've been: the mother, the disciplinarian, the cheerleader, the motivational speaker, the shoulder to cry on, the IT tech, the "oopsie" fixer, the grammar patrol, and the learner -all in one week.

I'm looking forward to the three day break this weekend! :)